Love is sweet, when it’s beautiful…there is no point denying that. When the ride is smooth and both of you take time to build each other, to understand each and everyone’s strengths and weaknesses. When the relationship is based on mutual love and respect it is simply sweet. You know helping each other through life, when you realise that that person brings out the best version of you, makes you wanna be better; more responsible, more self driven, that person instills a certain positive energy towards life that you didn’t have before. Now that is beautiful love.
On the other hand, some relationships are purely toxic. It’s not until you’ve been through hell in a relationship; you know the ones that are just something else, draining to say the least. Here at the end of the day you will feel completely emotionally drained, like loosing a part of yourself. Toxic relationships feel like you are investing all your time and energy for nothing, it’s only you who goes that extra mile for that person, always calling, texting asking how they are yet they don’t reciprocate or even show appreciation, it includes living with insecurities of whether they could be cheating or not, and how they show up or holla at you when its convenient for them like when they are sexually starved or dead broke and need financial boost. I could go on about toxic relationships but it’s not until you’ve had enough and walked away no matter how it hurts that you appreciate the peace that comes along with being single.
At first, I thought being single was an uphill task. You know that place where loneliness gets a grip of you, when you miss being held and being in the comforting arms of that person, having someone to ask about your day, to tell them the little things you accomplished that day and stuff, bet I had the whole picture wrong. You see, there is a certain peace that comes with being single..(You wouldn’t understand unless you are or you’ve been there) the pride of having total control of your life, no one to bombard you with questions about where you were at this time of the night why you didn’t pick my phone, whose the guy/chic on your display pic phew! Frankly living without these questions is a complete breath of fresh air.
Then again, if you just walked out of a toxic relationship, this is the perfect time to get back on your feet again. Get your life back on track; to get your priorities right and reevaluate your life, relationship, career wise, spiritual wise and all. To build an empire for yourself first; get that job you’ve always wanted, study that course you’ve always thought of doing but never had time to. Take lessons from your past regarding the kind of person you would want for a spouse so once you are ready to get back in the field you will know precisely what you want.
So when all is said and done, the singles club is actually fun. The place to grow, to strengthen bonds with friends you didn’t have time for, the place to get control over your life again. Trust me at the end of it all you emerge a stronger more independent person than you actually were, one who would have zero tolerance for a person who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Finally, if your love is beautiful thank God for it. Hold on to it and make the best out of it. If it’s toxic it’s time you took a step, if it can’t be saved, then it’s probably time you walked out. It won’t be easy; the first few weeks of being single will be tough. You will feel like wanting to go back, like getting a rebound to replace that void, but you know that you deserve better.
Oh and before I pen off if you are single, savour every moment of it, go out with friends and make meaningful choices. I mean make the best out of it. It takes a strong lady or gentleman to be in the singles hub, me thinks. Oh and stay there until you are ready to step out will you? *wink*